When I read Nancy’s excellent Killing Time Post it reminded me of a period in our lives where we moved to the rythms of the medical profession whilst being amazed by what they were able to do for us as a couple struggling to find that missing thing in our lives – a child. The image of the old magazine left lying on the table is especially poignant for me.
Lets cut to the chase… No child after 7 yrs of a normal marital relationship leads to a chat with the GP and a referral to an IVF consultant. So we go though the initial test and he says.. NP we’ll harvest some eggs and when we’ve done that we’ll need some sperm… But not right now… Eggs first.
Meanwhile we’re watching all the others going through the process – so many sad and distressed faces. So many dreams dashed because it doesn’t always work and it costs money. We had already visited the Corem Foundation with a view of adopting but were now following their advice – don’t adopt unless you have already exhausted all options of a natural child of your own.
So how does Nancy’s post fit with this?…
My good lady has her eggs harvested and a week later I have to come in with sperm for the necessary meeting with the eggs in the petrie dish. So we both turn up with the plastic jar full of what I understand is sometimes referred to a Ball Batter. Sorry – says the technician… sperm’s died on the way in – you need to produce fresh… And I get pointed to the Male Sperm Room where there a couple of beds and (this is where it ties in with Nancy’s post) a pile of magazines that a soldier from the first world war would probably have recognised and from which us men are expected to produce the necessary fluids… By the way, assistance from your partner is not allowed 😦 We often hear about affronts to a Lady’s dignity… You will appreciate that this is an affront to male dignity…
Heyy.. But the result was worth all the effort and embarrassment – at least for us. There were many other couples who were really struggling to get that joy that perhaps all of us married people need? A child? I also wonder what child lost a potential family the day that Corem sent us out to explore all avenues. We are lucky enough to have found the holy grail of a child at the end of all the difficulties…
But I will never forget the embarrassment of the room where I was expected to produce in the absense of my wife with ancient literature that was supposed to encourage me… though that pales when I consider all those for who the hopes of parenthood didn’t happen despite the best efforts of the IVF team…
…so a successful outcome for us nearly 10 years after we married and now, 10 yrs down the road I give you the Hellion…
